Recently I spent an entire day and evening in my pyjamas on my bed and couch, and I wasn’t unwell. I listened to the radio, watched two films, read some, ate, stared out the window – that’s all. It was a Saturday so I told myself that I was doing my take on the Jewish day of rest known as Shabbat. But this wasn’t enough to stop me from having moments of guilt, especially as I was also ignoring phone notifications and with the sun out after days of grey, I felt like I should at least have a walk to my local newsagent. In the twilight hour, finally making peace with my indulgent day indoors, I realised that to relax is just to be a human being and not a human doing.
With the lives that most of us have these days I wonder if the art of relaxing is becoming a forgotten skill and when for our mental health and self-esteem we are listing our personal character strengths, perhaps we should also ask ourselves, “How slow can I go?” If sleep gives us beauty, then I reckon decelerating may put the ageing process into slow motion. (Not that there should be anything wrong with growing older, but yes I want to always look younger than I am.) I know that faffing around at home doing nothing of significance can be as boring as a child’s Sunday afternoon in the seventies, but since when did boredom become the enemy and doesn’t spontaneity spring from a substantial pause from activity?
That Saturday I went so slowly – getting out of bed around 3pm and going back to it by 10pm – that Sunday ended by being a productive day and by Monday I was humming a line from the song Feelin’ Groovy – “Slow down you move too fast, got to make the morning last.” Like Simon & Garfunkel, so many great artists have told us that they feel inspired when they’re relaxed. Personally, I take to heart that expression about sleeping on a problem, and I also like to swim on them. As I breast stroke up and down the pool at my local gym, I let problems come to mind and by the time I’m at the sauna, I usually have some solutions. And when a problem is not immediately solved, in my most un-anxious state after swimming, I’m reminded of the aphorism – worry is a misuse of imagination.
Truth is the lazy Saturday I am writing about is not my first because for a long while, like the well-known writer Kenan Malik, I’ve been convinced that preventive health measures can reduce the overwhelming need for curative ones. I regularly schedule quality time when I’m fairly inactive in the belief that by ‘hunkering down’ (lovely expression made famous by Jacinda Arden) I’ll avoid being under the weather. Many people need to do household errands or family obligation on at least one of their weekend days. That’s why I’m all for the four-day week and if I ever had a protest banner it would read: Reclaim The Weekend!
As much as I value relaxation, I know there are times when being chilled or laidback is not an option. How can you relax when you suddenly find yourself in a terrible situation and maybe not of your own making? Sometimes we need the release that comes with crying or cussing. Sometimes we need to get angry and worked up so that we have the fire to change an unfair circumstance. Yet at some point we have to return to a place of calm, to those deep breaths, and let the body and mind revitalise through rest or sleep. When I’m too troubled and tense to ease up then my ideal companion will tell me to lighten up. Life repeatedly shows me that if I recall one of the two jokes I know, or listen to or read something funny, then my mood changes just like that. As an American comedian from a long time ago once said – laughter is an instant vacation.
