February was a tough one. We all expected low temperatures and high costs, but added to our personal challenges, war in Ukraine wears on, Turkey had a mammoth earthquake, essential services have been on strike and if you haven’t had one of those mega bugs going around then it’s likely you haven’t left home. Like me, you might be aching for spring when we can be more outdoors.

Familiar with the prognosis of NHS waiting times, this last winter I’ve been determined to stay healthy – like how in the 2020 winter lockdown we all walked like aged penguins on snowy pavements because A&E was the least attractive option. I continue to take my vitamin D pills, wash my hands when I get home (but for like five seconds,) and remember one of my favourite pandemic memes – Test Negative, Be Positive. How relevant that slogan still is, as so many people are battling enemies like Stress, Pissed Off-ness, and Arrgghhh! Of late when I ask neighbours and friends, “How are you?” the answer is, at best, “not bad” but more commonly – an instant sharing of frustration. Thinking optimistically I’m glad that honesty seems to be trending.

There have been times that I’ve got up in the morning and have had to shoot down my fears with the world’s greatest weapon – music. And often at a volume louder than my thoughts. As I sip my always-loves-me morning milky tea, I might make an online search for quick fix quotes to make me feel like “I got this!” or as is said in the wonderfully funny U.S. movie You People – “I am the juice.” As the day unfolds I will, as advised by my virtual gurus, surround myself with loving people which is not difficult to do when you live and shop in Belsize Park. Also I like that technique of ‘parenting’ me-self with abundant love, and especially when ‘nudging’ still doesn’t get my emails answered.

Of all the strategies that we have to keep chin up, one that I find marvellous is the act of giving. It’s a truth that’s been reiterated since the first serious scientific research in the 1980s – that giving your time and energy in a generous way to somebody else releases the same pain-relieving endorphins as when we do physical exercise. In selfless service, or by doing something for nothing, we can access our bodies natural morphine, feel happiness and increased energy and block the stress hormone called cortisol. It’s called the Helper’s High. In my experience this self-made drug comes with a ‘How to Use’ tip. You do need to give of yourself and not just hand out money to get the full effect. Like there’s a different feeling from dropping coins in the cup of somebody sat on the street to having a meaningful interaction with them.

When some years ago I qualified as a life coach and started to meet with a few clients, I couldn’t believe my luck! I would listen to people talk about their ambitions, challenges and life goals, and together we would grow their passions, discover their skills and make their lives happier, healthier and sometimes wealthier. After meetings I would bounce home all Miss Happy and saying to myself, “this is the best job ever. I don’t care that I’m doing it for free.”

Anybody who’s a volunteer, or supports people, animals or places in need, or is generally a kind and generous human being, will know of the helper’s high. Yet sometimes in life we have nothing to give and that’s just the way it is – in fact we may be in a situation where we need to receive, if not from others, then at least from ourselves. And in this cycle of giving and receiving it’s a win win for everyone for as Maya Angelou once said, “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”