Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself – is a saying I’ve always kept in mind. Recently I was listening to a radio item when I learnt that variations of this wise motto have Olympic status. There’s the Silver Rule which attributes Chinese philosopher Confucius with having said, “What you do not want others to do to you, do not do unto others.” And then the Golden Rule is a more active version of this idea – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Searching online, I can’t find a definitive answer as to who first spoke the Golden Rule (there’s no discrepancy that Confucius uttered the Silver Rule) and the most popular suggestions include a very ancient Egyptian, Greek rhetorician Isocrates and Jesus. Famously Hillel the Jewish Elder who lived in the time of Roman Emperor Augustus announced, “That which is hateful unto you, do not do to your neighbour. This is the whole of the Torah; the rest is commentary.”
Sometimes I come across a social media post which inspires me to keep it on my camera roll. After hearing about the Rules on the radio I remembered a post I’d kept – one which shows what thirteen major faiths have in common. It said they all confer with the Christian belief as written in the Book of Matthew, “In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.”
In Islam, the prophet Mohammad says, “Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself.” I read that Hindus believe, “do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you” and this idea is also found in Jainism, Zoroastrianism and Rastafarianism. Taoists regard their neighbour’s gains and losses as their own and Buddhism teaches about treating others in ways that you would not find hurtful yourself. The Bahai Faith asks, “Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you…”
The way that I’ve applied this idea of matching my actions as to how I would like others to act towards me, is by first understanding what I truly value. As I want to be trusted and live in a world where I can trust others, I endeavour to be honest. ‘Sorry’ may be one of the hardest words to say, but as I love an apology when I’ve been wronged, I try to apologise for my mistakes as I realise them.
Knowing the pain that comes with being misunderstood, I might ease up on my judgements by remembering that so many people are fighting battles which we don’t know about. Even those who speak of having a blessed life, who see their cup as overflowing with the good stuff, are not immune from struggle or adversity. And what a sad world it would be if we didn’t have successful people showing us how to win at the game of life.
Thousands of years after his death Confucius is still a top ten giver of memorable quotes online. He believed that before you can love anyone else (and therefore treat your neighbour as you would like to be treated,) you must first love yourself. I think about how difficult it must be to love yourself when in despair or with low self-esteem or feelings of shame. How can you practise self-love when you believe you are undeserving and that if you practise it then you’re guilty of doing something that feels not rightfully yours to do?
I think the stoic Confucius would stroke his long white beard and tell me that, even if we just do it for every hostage and every being who finds themselves caught in a war, even if we need to accept helpful intervention, we must fight with all our might to be in peace with ourselves. And not just because you’re breathing, you’re alive, seize the day! but because life begins with hope.
Nowadays some sage people are talking and writing about the Platinum Rule – “Treat people the way that they want to be treated.” This rule makes sense because collectively we do better when we listen to each other and the times we live in are characterised by the recognition of our indisputable individuality, even within families and tribes.
Naturally, this Platinum Rule requires empathy and maybe facing the fears that manifest when we find ourselves confronted by people who feel like strangers or strangers who are not like the people we know. The action needed is in the name we collectively call human beings – humankind. In Sikhism, also mentioned on that post which I saved, the importance of kindness is summed up so – “I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all.”
